he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
