She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
