Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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