I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
