yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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