When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
