Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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