i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
