Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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