just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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