Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
