Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The struggles of a small town man whore
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
