I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
