I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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