Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
