Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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