haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
