The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
