Dude my mom stole all your condoms
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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