i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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