I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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