I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize