I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
