Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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