Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My penis needs a shock collar
I got inside last night via doggy door
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
