do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
