how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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