no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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