So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
