Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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