RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i would one night stand the shit outta him
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize