for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
