i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
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I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
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Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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