Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
