But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
