Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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