how can u be prego again
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
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I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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