So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
