If i come over, it means nothing
i barfeds in our rink
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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