So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
