I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
