Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I cockslap morals
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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