Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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