WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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