I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
