My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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