I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Sober January is a disaster.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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