If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I am available for nakedness
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize