i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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