dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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