the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
