Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
