Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
