You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
