i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I want a musical about memes.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
