oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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