508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It's no shave November. This is our time.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
