"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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