Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
