Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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