remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
