girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
