"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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