All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
